To spank or not to spank...that is the question. This is not an easy topic but it is one that I have recently found myself in heated discussion about. As a new parent you are face with what the right way to discipline you children are. Noah and I have had are own discussions about this and here are some of the questions we have talked about:
Should we spank?
If no, then what ( and "time out" doesn't always work)?
What part of the body should we spank (someone Sunday told me that they only spank their child on the hand)?
When should we spank?
Hand or paddle?
Is it against the law?
What Would Jesus Do?
Are we bad parents if we decide to spank?
Noah and I have spent a lot of time before and after Davis was born and decided to take it one day at a time. We really feel that a spank here and there is necessary, as well as time out and talking it out.
So, what is your take on spanking?
Is your way the right and only way?
Is it ok to judge parents who spank?
I would love your feedback even if you would rather stay
7 comments:
Thanks for asking. I believe that spanking should be reserved for serious or extreme times of disobedience. Certainly not to be used as a threat and Dad should not be the only one who spanks or deals with discipline. I believe that spanking is Biblical and when exercised seldom and on serious offenses it is effective. I believe things should be age appropriate and young children should be redirected to a different activity or plan. Are there times when they just need an attention getter - you bet. I do not believe in a belt or something that can cause real damage.
All of that said, the best form of discipline is relationship building, good communication and Godly teaching.
MOM
I don't have children but have worked with and observed many children and parents. I do believe spanking is ok, however as a last resort. There sould be a level of disciple. Maybe redirect first, then time out, so on and so on. I definatly agree from the previous response as one parent sould not be the main person who does the spanking and that it should be age appropriate. It also depends on the child. Every child reacts differently to spanking as well as time out. Some children need it more than others and some don't need it at all.
I do not spank and do not believe that spanking is ever warranted. Do kids sometimes make you want to "pop" them? Of course. However, when parents spank children it sends the message that hitting for an offense is okay. We don't allow hitting in an adult relationship; it's called domestic violence. Yet, when an adult hits a child (for whatever reason), we say it's okay. Think about it from a child's perspective: the person you mostly likely adore more than anyone in the world, who is also bigger than you, hits you to get your attention. What does that say? Parenting without hitting takes enormous patience and planning, but can be done with any child.
This is a great question Trish! I think that if you spank for serious offenses up to eight years of age, you really don't have to after that. They get the picture. Spanking is not first, you don't use your hands, you use something else and it's limited to 2-3 pops depending on their age. I have used a belt although the girls alway hid it. The best tool I used was a small wooden paint stirrer, it fit in the diaper bag so neat and under the car seat. Just a lil pop on the hindlegs really gets their attention. You definately talk, redirect, but having strong willed children sometimes it is not gonna be about a conversation, that comes much later. When you can reason with them. The early years are about them understanding that Mommy and Daddy are in charge and here to love & direct them and correct them. Know your child, you may have to spank one more than others. They each have their own personalities. Time out may work. Especially when Mommy needs a break too. Love, UCJ or MommaJ :-) All the best on you and P.NK's decision in your house!
O yeah, I used to warn them. If you keep that up, it's gonna be 3 pops on the leg.. something like that. Just to let them know if they kept up with the undesireable behavior this was the consequence. Every action has a reaction kind of thing. LOL I am sure if you ask the girls, you will get a different story. LOL UCJ
God has granted Tricia and I the privilege of raising Davis. It is an awesome responsibility and I hope we steward it well. I hope to have my relationship, my eyes and my words be the primary shaping tool. Spanking is rare and up to the Mommy and Daddy of each child. The expert on raising your child is YOU! May God grant us all wisdom and grace!
As a former school teacher, I can tell you that kids now a days don't fear their parents or their teachers. Whether it makes sense to physically correct a child is debatable given that it is illegal in most countries.
How to get the kids to be fearful without spanking is something I don't understand. Email to parents from the teacher didn't seem to make a difference. Being sent to the principal's office didn't make much of an impression. I had a kid come back from the principal's office say in front of the class "yeah I told Mr. X that you suck as a teacher".
The parents have to step up and do something to a rebellious kid. Most do nothing.
How to spank. I believe bare hand to bare bottom. It is an equal sting for both. It is nice and embarrassing too which adds to the punishment.
Post a Comment